New York is not America, nor is this little town in MN I ate my breakfast in on that morning a true representation of all Americans. Yet, I believe only in America could theses conversations have taken place.
The scene is a diner or as they call it out West a Cafe. It is late morning with only 3 customers in the place. The couple at the table in front of me needs to be described as:
He is about 60-65, severely balding, tall fellow with a beer gut and talks with a drawl. He wears a blue Hawaiian short-sleeved shirt. Over that he wears bib jeans along with brown, high-heeled cowboy boots and a trains engineers hat. He could not make a more perfect, ridiculous, Western dressed farmer picture. His speech is slow and drawn out when he talks to me. I found out he drives a truck so I call him the Truck Driver or TD for short.
She is a small woman, about 45 to 50, wears blue jeans and a denim long sleeved shirt and looks very plain. She reminds me of Ms Spiegel across the street with her glasses and kinky hair. Creases in her face add to her plainness. No make up. She is a plain Jane from the West.
She has no great physical assets. Since she seems to be his girl friend I will call her GF.
The next person in the place is:
The waiter/busboy/cashier/ do it all guy serving us. He is 36 yeas old and looks as normal as possible and would make a good FBI agent because he is non-descript and blends in anyplace.
I am the guy with the motorcycle, dressed in full riding gear, helmet and all and just passing trough town.
I only stopped in to eat something, write in my journal and move on. I never met the folks before nor will I ever meet them again. All they left me with is this slice or picture of their life.
Waiter: I just moved to Menahga two weeks ago.
Me: Really?
Waiter: Yeah, she wants a divorce!
I don’t know why but she wants a divorce.
TD: Got more coffee?
Waiter: This is my first marriage.
GF: Milk, honey! Don’t forget the milk.
Waiter: Yeah, I am married for 18 months now
Me: (just nodding at him)
Waiter: We were living together for 14 ½ years before I married her.
Me: long time
Waiter: but she did not want to get married so I married her
Me: your wife?
Waiter: no, my girl friend!
Me: Oh!
Waiter: Yeah, I have 3 kids with her.
GF: I got kids!
TD: your hog outside?
Me: Yes, Sir!
TD: I deliver hogs, for real!
GF: He picks them up at the farms.
TD: (nodding his head and pointing to GF) And She comes with me and sits on my stick shift.
Waiter: She left me and now lives with my best friend.
Me: your wife?
Waiter: No, my girl friend!
Me: Oh!
TD: For real, she sits on my stick; sometimes she even shifts like that.
GF: (smiling) without pants on.
Waiter: One is 16, one is 13 and the other is 9 now.
Me: (smiling at the GF) Really?
Waiter: She wants a divorce, just like that. No warning, just like that.
Me: And the wife?
Waiter: (looking puzzled about my question) she wants a divorce and I don’t know why.
We bought this house and I put over $ 30,000 improvements into it.
Me: lot of money!
TD: last night was my turn
Me: What?
TD: I got her real good.
GF: (nodding)
Waiter: Just like that! We are still married, we are married for 1-½ years now and she wants a divorce. I
Don’t understand why she wants one.
I am a house framer but I insured my shoulder, I can’t do this any more.
TD: Tonight is her turn
Me: her turn?
Waiter: I want to go into the trash business
Sure see a lot of trash around
GF: yes! He will get it tonight, get it real good, I’m ready.
Me: Ready?
TD: She is always ready!
Waiter: Already got a ¾ ton truck!
But I can haul over 3 tons with it.
This job here is only in the morning.
GF: he sure was good last night.
TD: (grinning) I am a man!
Waiter: My friend Tom and I are putting in a new motor.
Heavy duty.
Me: Heavy Duty?
Waiter: Everything is Heavy Duty!
GF: we live in the truck
Me: is this your husband?
GF: NO! But he is good!
TD: Tonight is her turn, we take turns, one night she gets it, then I get it.
Me: could I have some more coffee, please?
Waiter: I don’t know why she wants a divorce.
She wants me to come back to the city but still wants a divorce.
Me: Why?
Waiter: don’t know why she wants a divorce.
I have no idea why she wants a divorce. This is my first marriage.
TD: she gets mad sometimes
GF: and he gets silly.
Waiter: I will never marry again.
Me: Why not?
Waiter: I am not good at it.
TD: the madder she gets the sillier I get!
Waiter: Once I fail that is it. I will never marry again.
I want my money back.
I went back to the city twice and Tom was there. He is my best friend.
He was working on the house now, but I want my money back.
I put over $ 30,000 into the house.
GF: I do everything
Waiter: Everything is in her name but the house is half mine on paper.
Me: half?
TD: (getting up to leave) She does!
GF: We met at a single dance
When he is not around I do it, too.
Waiter: Never again will I marry. I don’t know why she wants a divorce.
Me: How much is it for breakfast?
TD: Enjoyed talking to you, buddy.
How much is the hog rider’s bill?
Waiter: 4.98
GF: put it on our bill, see you all tomorrow.
TD: yeah, it’s your turn tonight, girl.
(Both left)
Waiter: Well, nutty folks around here. Maybe I will move back to the city.
Me: Thank you very much for breakfast! (Leaving the tip on the table top)
Waiter: They’ll pay me next week when he gets paid.
Me: Good-bye!
Waiter: I had a bike once!
